"Tracie"
Tracie slammed the phone down hard. "I cannot stand his b**ch-a** and I am so sick of his sorry a** excuses."
She was so deep in thought she didn't realize her 5 year old daughter Justina was standing in the doorway.
"Oh, sh*t!" Tracie cursed under her breath. She hated her daughter hearing her use curse words. Tracie rarely cursed but her baby daddy Justin knew exactly what to do to piss her off. Now she would have to break the news to her daughter yet again that her daddy wouldn't be coming to get her for the weekend. Justina was so excited all week long counting down the days until she saw her daddy. He was her life. She knew she could get anything she wanted from him. She was a very smart and vocal five year old, using her clever womanly skills early in life to get whatever she wanted from her daddy. It was gonna kill her to hear that once again she couldn't be with her daddy another weekend. And Tracey knew that she could not just make up any bullsh*t excuses as to why her daddy wasn't here to get her. Justina was young but she was not dumb by a long shot. Ooh, she hated him right now.
It was hard to believe that there was ever a time that she loved him so much, but there was. Tracie and Justin. No one could keep them apart back in the day. For almost two years they were inseparable.
Tracie bent down to scoop her big baby in her arms. Looking into Justina's eyes she could see her daddy. She cracked a smile, your daddy could never deny you, she thought. One look at Justina's round almond shaped eyes said it all. She even had his walnut color complexion. There was a time, however, right before Justina was born when he started playing games, claiming that Tracie was cheating on him, and in a heated argument blurted out that he didn't think she was his baby. They had said some cruel things to one another before but this as the worst. It was also the last straw for Tracie. After Justin stormed out she packed all of her bags and left before he returned.
She'd moved in with him against her mothers wishes. Her mother warned her that it wouldn't work out and she was right. Justin tried to apologize the next day but now that her mother was involved it felt it too late. That day was the last day she heard from him until she went into labor a month later. The hospital was awkward. Tracie had mixed feelings. She was happy he was there and still willing to be apart of her and the baby's life, but sad that things had ended in the way that they did. They couldn't really talk because of her mom there giving him the evil eye the entire time. She even snatched Justina right from his arms when she began to cry. He looked at me for support but I turned away. How could I defend him when he had treated me so mean. We talked later. He felt really bad about how things ended and apologized a hundred times but still wasn't ready to forgive him. After we left the hospital he was coming by everyday to see a hundred times but I still wasn't ready to forgive him. After we left the hospital he was coming by everyday to see Justina and got her whatever she needed. He would pick her up and take her to his family when I needed a break which was often since she was in school. He wanted them to move back in with him. That's all he ever talked about and she was seriously considering it. Things had become unbearable living at home. Tracie's mom was always second guessing her and taking over when it came to Justina. She couldn't make a decision without her two cents. She even tried to control the little money she made. Tracie never complained because it was her house and she stayed at Justin's a lot just to get away. Her mom would even b*tch about that. She thought she was giving her mother a break but she took it like Tracie didn't appreciate what she did for them.
One night the sh*t just hit the fan. She'd been drinking heavily ( a habit she'd picked up that only got worse with time) and Tracie was not in the mood to hear it or put up with it. She realized then and there that they could not live another night up under the same roof and not kill each other. Like they say, "Two queens cannot share a palace". Tracie called Justin that night and told him to come get her before, "I kill this b*tch." He laughed and said he was on his way. He was there in 15 minutes and that was that.
They tried the family thing and it was nice at times, but they were both stubborn. Neither one of us ever wanted to be wrong, and we each always had to have our own way. She realized that if she wasn't able to let one go then she wasn't ready to be in a relationship. I mean was it really that hard to admit that you were wrong. And if she couldn't do it for the man she love, let her guard down for at least him then he must not be that important to her. She thought that they had come to these conclusions together but she was surely mistaken.
She came to him our last night in our apartment- just merely wanting to talk about how she felt. He immediately took the offense claiming she just wanted to gout and be a h**. He threatened to take Justina from her and yelled all kind of obscenities in front of her. This fueled my fire and further proved my point.
The next day she called her girl Rochelle and they met for lunch at their favorite spot Dicks Wings out Merrill Road. Tracie couldn't wait to pour out her heart out. She hadn't realized that she let so much build up. She talked what felt like hours, but Rochelle just sat and listened. Never offering any of that ghetto bad advice she would have gotten from Cammie or her cousin Letoya. That's why when she called her she asked if just "we" could talk. Tracie loved her girls and all but sometimes she realized that you just can't have them all up in your business, especially your love life.
Besides she'd known Rochelle the longest. They'd been friends since middle school and ended up going to the same church. She was the one person she could just be "herself" around. She knew she could always open up and show her true feelings. It had always been that way from the beginning. By the end of their conversation Rochelle offered to let her stay at her place until she could get herself set up with her own. Tracie was grateful to have a friend like her. It was because she valued their friendship that she made her visit with her a very short one. Within a month she had her very own place. It was a small two bedroom duplex off Old Kings road on the Southside of town where she'd graduated from Wolfson High school. She decided it was best that if she was gonna start fresh she would really do just that. Being back on that side of town really brought back a lot of child hood memories, good memories she wanted her daughter to have also.
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